Wonder how your fellow students wrote the Web lead assignment this week? They took many different approaches to the story.
Take a look at the examples below, then vote for your favorite and add your comments.
Jimmy Walker, a junior at East High School and a University of Georgia basketball recruit, was in a plane crash Sunday night near Athens, Ga., that killed three persons whose identities are unknown.
A plane crashed outside Athens, Ga., while attempting to land at Athens-Ben-Epp Airport Sunday. Three unidentified persons were killed. A local high school student was on board.
East High School basketball player Jimmy Walker, 17, was on board a plane that crashed Sunday night at 11 p.m. in Athens, Ga. Three persons died, but their identities are not yet known.
Three unidentified persons died Sunday after a plane crashed in a cornfield near Athens, Ga., at 11 p.m. On board was Jimmy Walker of Akron.
Three unidentified people died in a plane crash Sunday at 11 p.m. as the plane attempted to land at Athens-Ben Epps Airport, three miles east of Athens, Ga. Among the travelers was Akron’s Jimmy Walker, 17, who was being recruited to play for the University of Georgia’s basketball team.
Our in-class writing assignment on Monday was the Follow-up Stories exercise on pages 366-367. Read the two day-one stories and the four day-two leads below. Then add your thoughts about them in the comments section at the end of this post.
Possible Day-One Stories:
Number 1:
A 10-year-old boy is in critical condition and a man is dead after an accident at Nichols Lake Sunday.
The boy, Edward McGorwann, lost his footing after wading into the lake with a 9-year-old friend. When the two boys yelled for help, an unidentified man jumped in to try to rescue the boy.
Cab driver James Kirkmann was taking his lunch in the park when he heard the screams for help. He radioed to dispatch, who then called 911.
Watching the events unfold, Kirkmann said, “When the boy went under and didn’t come back up for air, this guy dove under to find him. But he didn’t come back up, either.”
Soon after, police officers Kevin Barlow and Eddie Linn arrived on the scene. Barlow immediately stripped down to his shorts, dove into the lake, and began the search for the man and the boy.
After several dives, Barlow found Edward, unconscious.
Linn tried to resuscitate the boy, but the boy was still unconscious when he was taken by ambulance to the Regional Medical Center.
Barlow continued his search for the unidentified man for another 20 minutes, until volunteer scuba diver Dorothy Heslin arrived to assist police.
Heslin soon found the man and pulled him from the water, where paramedic Wayne Svendson was waiting to tray and resuscitate him. Svendson said the signs of hypothermia were apparent since the man’s skin had started to turn blue.
The man was taken to Regional Medical Center where Dr. Catrina Lowrie pronounced him dead on arrival.
Dr. Lowrie also stated that Edward was in critical condition.
Officer Barlow was also treated for minor shock caused by the long period of time he spent in the water, but was released Sunday afternoon.
Number Two:
A 10-year-old boy is in critical condition and the man who tried to save him from drowning is dead after a noontime accident at Nichols Lake Sunday.
The boy, Edward McGorwann, lost his footing after wading into the lake with a 9-year-old friend. When the two boys yelled for help, an unidentified man dove into the water to rescue Edward but was unsuccessful.
Hearing screams, James Kirkmann, a cab driver who was taking his lunch break in the park at the time of the accident, radioed his dispatcher, who called 911.
“When the boy went under and didn’t come back up for air, this guy dove under to find him. But he didn’t come back up, either,” Kirkmann said.
Kevin Barlow, one of two police officers who arrived at the scene at 12:18 p.m., dove underwater several times before pulling the unconscious boy to safety. After efforts to resuscitate Edward were unsuccessful, he was transported by ambulance to Regional Medical Center .
Barlow was unable to locate the boy’s would-be rescuer in the frigid water, despite a 20-minute search that lasted until volunteer scuba diver Dorothy Heslin arrived. She pulled the unidentified man from the water at about 1:15 p.m.
A paramedic attempted to resuscitate the man, who was suffering from hypothermia. He was pronounced dead on arrival at Regional Medical Center.
Barlow was treated for minor shock and released.
Possible Day-2 Follow-up Story Leads:
The 10-year-old boy rescued from Nichols Lake on Sunday died Monday, and police identified the man who tried to rescue him as William McDowell, a 30-year-old unemployed housepainter.
The 10-year-old boy who was rescued from Nichols Lake Sunday has died, and the man who died while attempting to save him has been identified as William McDowell.
The boy rescued from Nichols Lake Sunday died Monday, and the man who attempted to rescue him was identified as William McDowell, a 30-year-old housepainter.
Edward McGorwann, the 10-year-old boy who was rescued from Nichols Lake Sunday, died Monday, and the man who tried to save him was identified as 30-year-old William McDowell.
This week we are writing an interview story that focuses on how the current economy is affecting University of Akron students. Today you are formulating questions you might ask students and other sources as you gather information for this story.
Post your questions in the comments section below.
Read the speech follow stories below and vote for the one you think is the best. It should follow the guideline for Writing the Speech or Meeting Follow. We discussed these in class, and they are included in Chapter 13 of our text.
After voting, explain why you think your choice is the best. Your comments will count toward your participation points for Week 10 of our Newswriting class.
Story #1:
Jackie Speier, a congresswoman from California, said Saturday that the fight for equality is not over for women.
During her speech in St. Louis, Mo., at an AAUW convention, Speier stressed that women must never stop fighting for equality and that it’s essential that “we stay vigilant.”
The American Association of University Women, AAUW, is an organization that aims to break through educational and economic barriers through advocacy, education and research so that all women have a fair chance.
“Barriers that women still face are nothing less than daunting,” Speier said as she went into her five commandments for women overcoming obstacles.
Her first commandment was that women should not assume that the system is fair. Speier cited several facts to prove her point. For example, women only hold 20 percent of university president positions in this country, even though they are 50 percent of the Ph.D. pool.
Speier believes that the system is “quite literally moving backwards.” In 1996, Proposition 209 repealed Affirmative Action that caused the faculty at UC, which was 80 percent male, to relax in their thinking. Male faculty members believed that everything could now go back to “normal,” meaning that men could once again hire other men like themselves.
“Thou shall not settle for less than they are entitled,” Speier stated as her second commandment. According to a recent study, 43 percent of individuals who earned MBAs in 2007 were women, which was up from 2.6 percent in 1963. Even with such a high percentage of women earning degrees, Speier explains that women still hold less than 16 percent of the corporate office positions at the top Fortune 500 companies.
These statistics, along with several others provided by Speier, illustrate how women are not being given what they deserve. She quoted New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristoff as saying, “Wall Street is one of the most male dominated bastions in the business world.” To overcome this, Speier said it is important for women to take advantage of all the building blocks for success they have in their hands.
Her third commandment was that all women must educate themselves and their daughters. She gave an example of the result from the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, where Ledbetter received nothing for being discriminated against for 18 years by Goodyear Tire.
Speier explained that companies like Goodyear, a federal contractor, should have their contracts “yanked” if they violate them, but this is not yet happening. Speier stated that this is a new issue for AAUW to take on.
Her fourth commandment emphasized the importance of women helping other women. “Women on the top bring more women to the top,” Speier said.
Speier agrees with the organization The Women’s Leadership Forum, WOLF, when it states that if women come together and are loyal to each other not only the workplace, but also women themselves will be reinvented. Speier says the only way women will see the kind of change they want is to do it themselves.
Speiers’ final commandment was to honor and protect our families. She stated that even though women have made strides academically, “we are still behind other industrialized nations in women’s professional achievement.”
The lack of policies that support women is one of the main reasons for this problem, according to Speier. For example, 25 percent of women must forgo their paychecks on days they have to take care of their sick children. Speier also stated that 57 million full and part-time workers don’t have a single paid sick day granted by their employers.
Story #2
The crowd cheered as Jackie Speier, congresswoman from California, took the stage at the American Association of University Women’s National Convention to discuss five commandments for women to follow.
The AAUW convention, “Breaking Through Barriers,” was held in St. Louis, Mo. She discussed the inequalities between men and women and her five commandments for taking action to “make the wrongs right” and help women overcome obstacles.
In her first two commandments she said women should not assume the system is fair, and they should not settle for less than what they are entitled to. Speier spoke of Lily Ledbetter, a woman who had assumed the system was fair. Ledbetter worked at Goodyear Tire for 18 years and was discriminated against by not being paid equally. She told Speier that she never thought for a moment that Goodyear was not playing by the rules because they had a federal contract.
Speier also used a group of women scientists at Massachusetts Institute of Technology as an example of how women were discriminated against. These women got lower salaries, less money for research and half of the lab space the men received. The women went into the labs and measured each. Due to their actions, MIT admitted it was discriminating and increased research money, increased the lab space so it was equal to men’s and increased women’s salaries 20 percent to equal the men’s.
Speier’s third commandment was to “educate yourself and your daughters.” Women make up 58 percent of all undergraduates and almost half of all medical and law school graduates in this country, she said. In 2007 women represented 43 percent of individuals who earned a master’s of business administration versus 2.6 percent in 1963. Yet women only hold 50 CEO seats and fewer than 60 percent of corporate office positions at the top Fortune 500 companies.
“According to current trends, it would take another 40 years for the number of female corporate officers to match the number of male officers among the top Fortune companies in the United States. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait that long.”
According to Speier, research shows that companies with several senior level women tend to perform better financially. Profits among the 20 Fortune 500 firms with the best record of promoting women are up to 69 percent higher than the median Fortune 500 firms in their industries.
“Innovation and creativity thrive when mixed gender teams collaborate.”
In her fourth commandment, Speier said women should help other women. A study showed companies with two or three women board members in 2001 had 28 percent more female corporate officers in 2006.
Speier believes, “Quite simply, women on top bring more women to the top.”
Speier said she feels passionately about all the work that still needs to be done for women and girls in America. In Speier’s fifth commandment she told women to protect and honor family. There are 57 million full and part time workers who do not get paid sick days or days to take care of their children. She told the women at the convention that their fight was not over and everyone needs to help.
“Our goals will not be achieved if we do not help each other,” she said.
Story #3
Women are still working towards equality in the workplace, California Congresswoman Jackie Speier said Saturday in St. Louis.
Speaking at the American Association of University Women’s national convention, Speier connected to the conventions theme, “Breaking Through Barriers,” by explaining that women’s fight for equality is far from over.
“The barriers that women still face are nothing less than daunting,” Speier said.
AAUW holds a national convention every two years and advances equity for women and girls through advocacy, education and research.
Speier’s speech focused on five commandments women can follow to help them break the cycle of inequality.
Do not assume the system is fair
Do not settle for less than you are entitled
Educate yourself and your daughters
Help other women
Honor and protect your family
Each commandment included anecdotes and examples that supported Speier’s beliefs about what women need to do to ensure they are represented equally in business.
Although women now make up more than half of all college undergraduates, these statistics are not seen in the workplace.
In 2007, 43 percent of individuals who earned MBAs were women, up from 2.6 percent in 1963. Despite this significant increase, women hold only 15 CEO seats and make up less than 16 percent of corporate office positions at the top Fortune 500 companies.
According to Speier, “companies with several senior level women tend to perform better financially” which should persuade them to incorporate more women into their male-dominated workplace.
Speier said women should work together and use their positions of influence while striving for equality.
“Every single one of our challenges will not be achieved if we don’t support each other,” she said. “Women at the top bring more women to the top.”
An example of women helping each other occurred in 2000 when Safeway Inc., a Fortune 500 company and large supermarket chain, established Championing Change for Women.
This initiative emphasizes career development and mentoring programs for women, by women.
Its success is already showing.
Since its inception, there has been a 40 percent increase in the representation of women in store management positions and a 25 percent increase in the representation of women as vice presidents.
While advancements have been made for women in the workplace, the United States still trails other industrialized nations in women’s professional achievement.
This is due to a lack of policies that support women and mothers, according to Speier.
That may start to change.
The Healthy Families Act has been proposed that would set a seven-day paid sick leave minimum for all Americans.
This is a start, but Speier stresses that women “must push for other measures of similar value that don’t force them to choose between career and family.”
Story #4:
Women’s fight for equally is not over, so women must take action, stressed Representative Jackie Speier at the American Association of University Women National Convention banquet Saturday.
Jackie Speier spoke about her “Five Commandments” for women overcoming obstacles to help women take action, or “Break through Barriers”, in a society where women are still unfairly discriminated against.
The American Association of University Women, otherwise known as AAUW, advocates equality for women and girls through advocacy, education and research. The convention held yesterday focused around the theme “Breaking Through Barriers.”
Speier said in 1963, a mere 2.6 percent of women earned an MBA compared to an alarming 43 percent of women who earned an MBA in 2007. This impressive statistic is one of many regarding the advances women have made in their educational careers. Women now make up 58 percent of undergraduates, more than 50 percent of PhD recipients and almost half of all law school and medical school graduates in this country.
During Speier’s time in the state senate she had many meetings examining why only 31 percent of the faculty at the University of California were women, even though women made up 49 percent of the Ph.D. pool. Six years earlier, women made up 46 percent of the Ph.D. pool.
“That is a gap that is dramatic. A shift from 46 percent to 41 percent. We were quite literally moving backwards,” said Speier.
Although the statistics prove that women are becoming more academically equal to men, “Thall shall not assume that the system is fair”, according to the first of Speier’s “5 Commandments.” Women hold only 20 percent of presidential positions in colleges throughout the country.
To change what was happening at the University of California, Speier held three annual meetings to exert political pressure. The president of UC created a gender equality council.
She said that since she has left, the California has done nothing more to solve the problem and the number of women faculty has remained stagnant. Speier’s said, “It’s a great example of how we can never rest and how we must stay vigilant.”
Speier shared another similar and unfair example of discrimination women face in her second commandment, “Thall shall not settle for less than you are entitled.”
Despite academic achievement, women only hold 15 CEO seats and fewer than 60 percent of the corporation office positions at the top Fortune 500 companies. She said it would take another 40 years to match the number of male officers among the top Fortune 500 companies. “I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait that long,” added Speier.
“So there you go. All of the building blocks for success are in our favor: education, productivity, contributions, and the big one, producing revenue. We should settle at nothing short of the boardroom. We should rightly deserve to have women seated in those boardrooms and in those corner offices,” she said.
In her third and fourth commandments, Speier stressed the importance of women’s persistence in reforming the law to promote equality. For example, since women have the primary responsibility for child care, they often feel they must choose between career and family. The Healthy Families Act is a new bill that is created to set a seven- day paid minimum sick day for all Americans. Speier said, “We must push for other measures of similar value that don’t force us to chose between our careers and our ever importance families.”
In order to create equality among men and women and stop discrimination, Speier said it is important for women, especially those who hold positions of power, to help other women. This important action was said in her fourth commandment “Thall shall help other women.”
“As I look across this room, I see lots of women with the ability to ‘femtor’ other women and it’s just not the ‘please do it,’ it’s a ‘please you must do it.’” She said the only way women will see the kind of change we need to see in this country is to “do it ourselves.”
This week, we wrote four-paragraph news stories based on the information on page 169 of our text, Reporting for the Media. To the facts we found there about a Centers for Disease Control report on American marriages, you added a quote or two from links found on Springboard.
Vote for the news story written by Newswriting students that you think is best. Then explain the reasons for your choice in the comments section at the end of this post. You must comment on this post to earn full participation points for week six this semester.
CDC Story #1
Marriage lasts longer when partners do not live with each other before marriage, according to a study released by the Centers for Disease Control.
In the study of 50,000 women, 40 percent of couples who live together before marriage broke up after 10 years. This is compared to 31 percent of couples who did not live together before marriage.
Dr. Ed Sondik, director of CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics, said researchers looked beyond how living together before marriage affects the duration of marriages.
“We’ve also attempted to look beyond the influence of individual characteristics and are looking more at the characteristics of the community at large to get a comprehensive picture of what factors impact marriage and divorce rates in this country,” he said.
The CDC found couples at a greater risk for divorce tend to be young, less wealthy and less religious.
CDC Story #2
Couples are at a greater risk for divorce when they live together before they marry, the Centers for Disease Control announced Wednesday.
After 10 years of marriage, 40 percent of couples who had lived together before marriage had broken up. This is compared with 31 percent of those couples who did not live together before marriage.
Additionally, researchers concluded that 43 percent of married couples break up within 15 years.
“In the United States during the second half of the 20th century, the proportion of people’s lives spent in marriage declined due to postponement of marriage to later ages and higher rates of divorce,” according to the report.
Additional risk factors that lead to divorce include being less religious, not having a college education and not being as wealthy.
CDC Story #3
Couples who live together before marriage tend to have traits that put them at a greater risk for divorce, according to a newly released study of American marriage.
The study, conducted by researchers from the Centers for Disease Control, surveyed 50,000 women. It found that 40 percent of couples who had lived together before marriage divorced after 10 years. Only 31 percent of married couples who had not lived together had broken up during the same time period.
Researchers expanded the study “beyond the basic ‘bookends’ of marriage and divorce to look more closely at how the issue of cohabitation impacts the life of a relationship,” explained Dr. Ed Sondik, director of CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics.
Overall, researchers found that 43 percent of marriages end within 15 years. Wealthy, religious, college-educated women stand the best chance of making their marriages last.
Released Wednesday, the study also found that half of U.S. women had lived with a partner by age 30. Seventy percent of couples who lived together for at least five years eventually married.
CDC Story #4
Couples who live together before marriage have a greater risk of divorce, according to researchers from the Centers for Disease Control.
In a major study of American marriages, researchers found that 40 percent of couples who lived together before marriage had broken up within 10 years, compared to 31 percent of couples who did not live together.
While the report lists many possible factors that contribute to the success or failure of a relationship, researchers concluded that “community prosperity is related to successful cohabitations and marriages.”
The CDC found that the odds of a marriage surviving longer than one decade are also increased when the woman is wealthy, religious, college-educated and at least 20 years old.
CDC Story #5
People living in affluent communities are more likely to have enduring relationships, according to a study released by the Centers for Disease Control on Wednesday.
People living in communities with higher incomes, lower crime rates and higher education levels tend to have more successful unions, the study reported. These living conditions result in more stable cohabitations and durable marriages.
The study was conducted on 50,000 American women from assorted races, backgrounds and incomes. According to the report, there is nothing to contradict the conclusion that a community’s affluence is a major factor in all relationships.
Last week I asked you to practice writing leads by completing exercises in our text.
Do you wonder how your leads compare to the textbook-perfect leads included in the Instructor’s Manual for Reporting for the Media? How would we adapt those leads to fit Twitter’s 140-character format?
Read on, then add your own lead(s) if you think they are as good — or better — than these. Or edit the leads below to improve them.
Page 164, Section II, number two:
IM: A local sheriff’s deputy died after being struck by lightning while directing traffic during an electrical storm despite the efforts of a university student to revive him.
Twitter: A sheriff’s deputy died after being struck by lightning while directing traffic during a storm, despite a student’s efforts to revive him.
Page 164, Section III, numbers one and two:
1. IM: More than 90 percent of all heart attack victims have one or more classic risk factors — smoking, diabetes, high cholesterol and high blood pressure, according to the National Institutes of Health in Washington, D.C.
1. Twitter: More than 90 percent of all heart attack victims have one or more classic risk factors, according to the National Institutes of Health.
2. IM: The 16-year-old driver of the Jeep Wrangler that rolled over in a one-vehicle accident that injured the driver and two other people had just gotten her driver’s license two days before the accident, police said.
2. Twitter: The 16-year-old driver hurt in a one-car accident that also injured her two passengers received her driver’s license just two days earlier.
Page 165, Section IV, numbers one and two:
1. IM: School Superintendent Gary Hubbard unveiled a new program that will pay students to inform school officials if their classmates bring guns or drugs to school or violate other school rules.
1. Twitter: School Superintendent Gary Hubbard unveiled a program that will pay students to inform school officials if classmates violate school rules.
2. IM: Nearly one in every 37 adult Americans had either served or were serving prison time last year, according to the U.S. Department of Justice.
2. Twitter: Nearly one in every 37 adult Americans had either served or was serving prison time last year, according to the U.S. Department of Justice.
We have covered basic news leads. To earn participation points for Monday, Sept. 21, do two things:
Read the leads below and vote for the one you think is the best. It should meet the criteria listed on page 160 in our text, Reporting for the Media. Four of the leads were written by students in the two Newswriting classes I teach. One was written by a professional journalist for the Instructor’s Manual that accompanies our text.
In the comments section at the end of this post, explain why the lead you chose is the best of the five, citing the criteria listed on page 160.
Vote for one of these leads:
Couples who live together before marriage have a greater risk for divorce, according to a study of American marriages by researchers from the Centers for Disease Control.
Couples are at a greater risk for divorce when they live together before they marry, researchers announced Wednesday.
Women who are wealthy, religious, college-educated and at least 20 years old when they marry are less likely to divorce, according to a recent study by the Centers for Disease Control.
Wealthy, religious, college-educated women stand the best chance of making their marriages last, according to a study of 50,000 women that found 43 percent of married couples break up within 15 years.
Women who are wealthy, religious, college-educated and at least 20 years old are most likely to have a successful marriage, researchers have concluded.
A new citizen-driven news outlet launched an hour ago — at 4 p.m. — in Grand Rapids, Michigan. It’s called The Rapidian.
Anyone in Grand Rapids can be a reporter for The Rapidian, and its focus will be on hyper-local neighborhood news that most news outlets rarely cover. The outlet already has 97 unpaid volunteers signed up to work on the project.
Wonder how your fellow students wrote the Web lead assignment this week? They took many different approaches to the story.
This week, we wrote four-paragraph news stories based on the information on page 169 of our text, Reporting for the Media. To the facts we found there about a 
